This follows my last post, V.

I've been Vivian socially, (almost) full-time now, for several months. Virtually everyone has been accepting, and many even excited for me. Truly a testament to the goodness of the company I keep. I even came out to family, on Transgender Day of Visibility—which I had been dragging my feet on, despite knowing it would be met with love and acceptance. I've professionally shifted use too—I quit my full time job under my birth name, and left it behind me. I work as an independent contractor now, even with my former employer as a client, and the switch has been made there too with no friction (aside from some technological hiccups). My medical institution allows a preferred name, which I am honestly still getting used to, being an 'official capacity', which still exists under a former name. And what's what this follow up is about.

No longer hiding from anyone and embracing myself and my identity, I am ready to start making things official with the name. I have paperwork drafted and ready to file to get things moving. But there are some missing details. And I mean, small details.

I have no hate towards my family's name; they've been wonderful to me and I will always own having the name. But "Vivian [lastname]", just... doesn't sounds like a person that exists. I've resolved to take full ownership over my name and update everything. I am electing not to remove my birth name from my birth certificate, for the reason above—I will never not be my birth name, and I want the record to show that it is still a part of me, even if I am not using it anymore.

I've been giving my name out as "Vivian null". Yes, lowercase n. The contrast, and use of null relates to personal reasons touched on in the last post. The lowercase is a bit of a gimmick—it uses a more literal form of the technological reference, and reflects some form of minimalism. There's an issue, though: poorly-coded software. There are certainly systems out there that will read null as empty or not provided or not applicable, and perhaps even break certain systems. This quirk is not unknown to me, and is actually a novelty that makes me smile. My own 'Bobby Tables'. The lowercase may increase instance of this case, to where it may be a consideration. Though for now, let's disregard it as a consideration and focus on a e s t h e t i c s.

I had thought to be without middle name, for that balance, but more have I thought to put a void on the books in that slot. All planning used my dearest online alias biovoid* (also with obligate lowercase, for symmetry). I then had a fun realization, that if I went with straight 'void', my initials would be 'Vvn', pronounced like my first name. The fun, meaningful novelty of the revelation made me instantly light up in joy, and I knew I had to jump on the idea.

* Bonus: In wanting to force biovoid into the name, I began to wonder if it could be abbreviated from the middle, to keep the v. Though no longer an "initial" proper by definition, could one shorten from an already shortened form?
A more straightforward example: For a person named "Brunhilda Smith", if they went by 'Hilda', could they sign H. Smith? Or a "Roseanne Smith" who goes by 'Anne': A. Smith? I feel my case pushes the idea a bit far, and I am willing to concede to the base void.

Anyway. So where are we now? Vivian void null

The stylistic lowercase is with meaning, but it almost looks strange not committing to it: vivian void null. Aesthetically this works, but it's not reall how I pictured it. The V in Vivian contrasts with the lowercase of the other names, much how it contrasts in the ways described in Part 1. This justifies the inconsistency in capitalization, but it doesn't necessarily sell me on the appearance.

It's possible my capitalization will not be honored regardless, and I would hit the books as Vivian Void Null. This compromises some of the gimmick of void // null, but perhaps mitigates some of the null pitfall described earlier. Plus, nothing is stopping me from stylistically rendering it cased as I want—legally there is no difference how a form entry is cased, as I understand. There's just something satisfying about being on the record in a way that speaks to me. Furthermore, there's nothing offensive to me about the capitalized initials 'VVN'.

For completion sake, we could entertain VIVIAN VOID NULL, but while consistent, that one doesn't really speak to me.

So we are left with the forms:

• Vivian void null, Vvn
• vivian void null, vvn
• Vivian Void Null, VVN

The whole idea seems a little cringe, but hey—I'm a little cringe.

But I am free.